I hate when my back is out it gives me to much time to think. I try to pray…..but my mind as a mom just keeps taking off. I can’t help but to think of my little girl, well she is 24, but always my little girl.
I talk to her and I can tell she is broken, and in return I am broken too.. this is truly the hardest thing that I have had to deal with in my life. Why because I have pleaded with her over and over, for quit a few years…..but it seems like this monster this demon, meth has gotten such a hold on her that I can’t pry her loose. So I am left to face the truth, my precious little girl is an addict. An addict! I can barely say it. I feel sick. I HATE that word. And yet, it is true. Why does the truth have to be so hard? All my life I have watched over her and now……😭. When I think about it the change in her was immediate. She faded away as soon as it entered her veins. She became obnoxious, rude, spaced out, disrespectful, down right horrible, and there where times I actually feared her…….but now I know it was the drug acting and talking on her behalf. My beautiful little girl who was completely into herself……now she has no pride in her appearance.. God knows how long it has taken me to come to terms with this. You know I have heard that it is hard so very hard for an addict to quit drugs. But honestly it just as hard watching your child’s life be controlled and taken away by meth. She is actually in jail right now hopefully get clean and help…..but I have realized I need help too. I need to be heathy to be there for her….. so instead of blaming myself, her friends, her dna, I am finally facing and fighting the demon meth.
So I want to tell other mothers and fathers, families and friends of a drug addict is that there is hope, there is deliverance, but we have to go to the Lord and leave our children at the altar. I know it’s hard……and being a mom it can very painful……but God and only God can be the one who reaches down and take them out of that dark place, out of the enemies hand and give them back to us.
#amotherslove
