I have been a born again, blood bought child of the King for almost fourteen years next month. I have in the past couple of weeks looked back at my life as a follower of Christ…..a realized something that scared the bageebees out of me…….I have become complacent, I had lost that new love zeal. Oh how my heart began to ache…..I loved God….I serve him, I study, I pray, I sing, I attend church, I witness to the lost……but I had become complacient…..I had not been giving God my first fruits, my best. what a heartbreaking , spiritual awakening this was.
In the last few years so much has happened in my life. and sadly to say sometimes it became a struggle to continue, to walk that walk of faith. I have questioned so many things, but I continued to serve him. I continued you to praise him. But today I realized it was just motions. how could I , how could I do this and still think I was okay.
I would play music and sing his praises throughout the day as I drive, worked, and even cleaned house….but today I realized, actually already knew…just didnt pay attention……that is not enough. I would say small prayers throughout the day…..but that was not enough. I would put scriptures on my computer at work and read them throughout the day…..but that was not enough.
I REALIZED THAT THE GOD OF MY LIFE……THE LOVER OF MY SOUL…..MY DELIVER…..MY PHYSICIAN…..MY BEST FRIEND…..MY PROVIDER……MY SAVIOR……..NEEDED ONE ON ONE TIME WITH ME. NO DISTRACTIONS…..NONE WHAT SO EVER……JUST HIM AND I!!!!
Don’t get me wrong, the things I was doing was good…but they should have never taken the place of my “first love zeal” . You remember when you fell in live for the first time….how you just couldn’t wait to hear their voice, see their face, touch their hands, smell that cologne…….get to know them more and more. SPEND TIME WITH THEM……. And when you don’t see or talk to them for just one day…..you would start chasing after them. Calling them, going to the places you know they hung out…..just to get one peak….one word……
Then I started asking my self some real questions……..
Do I chase after God?????
Do I long to spend time with him daily??????
Do I show him truly that I love him?????
Do I serve him wholeheartedly????? Without distractions?????
Is God second to anything or anyone in my life?????
Living in this world sometimes it is so easy to get distracted with computers, social networking, phone conversations, work, friends, family, tv, reading……etc…….and we just fit God in …… ( I’m sure you don’t do that ????)
Well I for one….have realized that I was breaking his heart…..when I was placing so much before him. God has blessed me with everything I have…..my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my church, my job, my house, my cars, my possessions, and there should never ever have been a time that I put any of it before him. NEVER !!!!!
Pro 2:2 So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;
Pro 2:3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;
Pro 2:4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;
Pro 2:5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
Make him first …….
Prayer :
Lord I am sorry, please forgive me for putting so many things that you have blessed me with before you. I promise that socially networking in not number one, that tv can wait, reading well it can too, friends well they will have to hold on……because you and only you have my number one spot……..
Lord my deepest desire this day is more and more of you. Nothing else will satisfy….nothing else will do. I pray that whomever reads this begins to fill their hearts stirring….wanting the same thing …….more and more of you Jesus.
Amen
