A Lord's Lady's Thoughts

Every single parent has spent a night or two…LOL….. tossing and turning, worrying tremendously about finances, children, family, jobs, house chores, friends….etc….. Our minds race because we cannot see how things will turn out. Will I make enough this month to pay my mortgage? Will my mother make it through this surgery? Will my child be safe living in this sin sick world on her own? Will I ever be promoted? Sometimes falling asleep is tremendously hard to do.

However, God did not intend for it to be that way. Actually he has given us the answer to nights filled with the rest that our body, minds and hearts need in Job 11:18 “Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety.” Seriously where is our hope laying? Our hope should not in our spouse, its not in our jobs, its not in our family, our finances….it is completely or should be completely in Jesus Christ. He promised us if we would only look to the heavens and put our lives in his hands we will experience peace that surpasses all understanding.

I remember when my mom got her pacemaker in. That was a day that I will never forget. The doctors gave us very little hope of her coming out of surgery because her heart was so weak. I remember sitting on my moms bed thinking is this going to be the last words I say to her. I couldn’t say I love you enough. Then I begin to say a silent prayer asking God to help me…give me some peace knowing that if she does go home with him today that would not be such a bad thing she would healthy whole and happy. I said Lord I trust you…….. Trust you me it was a hard thing to do knowing that was my mama, but when I put my hope in him all my fears subsided. Anxiety and fear completely flees in the His presence.

Heavenly Father,

I know sometimes we allow this would to crowd our minds with fear and anxiety that makes us sick, that keeps us from sleeping. I pray that we learn to put our hope completely in you. Not ourselves or what we can do, but to place our lives, our children, our family, our everything in your hands. In Jesus name, amen

A day in my life……..Get up a 6am get ready for work, 6:30 am get my little man, Tristan, Up and get him ready for school. 6:50 send Tristan out the door to catch the bus. Make me my breakfast shake and off to work. Work from 8am to 4pm. Gym at 4:30. Home by 6pm. Dinner, if my husband hasn’t cooked it, Laundry in, homework check, Tristan’s bath, clean up kitchen….etc……, read and study for awhile, pray time then bed by 11 or 11:30pm. I am sure most women have a schedule pretty close to mine.

Our lives are filled up very quickly with daily things that we have to do. Family, friends, work, kids, husband, church, household chores……in this fast paced world we so often forget to take time for ourselves, time to rest, time to clear our minds……I for one am guilty. However I am asking God to help me learn to take time….to make an appointed time for just me and Him. I have noticed lately that this world and all that it had thrown at me has taken a toll on my mind and health. Then when I prayed and let God know that I was struggling……He reminded me so gently to “Be still and know that I am God”. Psalm 46:10

So I am taking the step with the help of my Heavenly Father to quit my mind and quit allowing this world to dictate my time, and make time for Him to help direct my life in the pattern he wants it to go to be the very best me for his Glory!!!!!

Heavenly Father,

It is so hard sometimes to find a few spare moments in our everyday life, but help us to remember that  your are our life….that you created us to be Ambassadors for you. Our lives belong to you!!!!! Let us desire above all other things to spend alone time with our Heavenly Father each day so we can share our thoughts and concerns and allow you to calm us through the storms of this life and help us listen for your voice……your still small voice.

In Jesus name, Amen

My Story Lyrics

by Big Daddy Weave

If I told you my story You would hear hope that wouldn’t let go If I told you my story You would hear love that never gave up If I told you my story You would hear life, but it wasn’t mine

If I should speak, then let it be…

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin Of when justice was served and when mercy wins Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

If I told you my story You would hear victory over the enemy If I told you my story You would hear freedom that was won for me If I told you my story You would hear life overcome the grave

If I should speak, then let it be…

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin Of when justice was served and where mercy wins Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song Praising my Savior all the day long This is my story, this is my song Praising my Savior all the day long

For the grace that is greater than all my sin Of when justice was served and where mercy wins Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in Oh to tell you my story is to tell Of the grace that is greater than all my sin Of when justice was served and where mercy wins Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song Praising my Savior all the day long

Everytime I here this song my heart leaps. Knowing that the God of the universe loved me so much that He reached down and saved me and pulled me out of my mess and made a message out of my life. These words just makes me scream…..scream to the world……Jesus is my story!!!!!

I was raised in a home where fighting, drinking, divorce, abuse, cursing, and hardly no love showed was the normal. Don’t get me wrong I know our parents loved us but they had trouble showing it because their lives were a mess. In school I was kind of a loner, although I had a good friend named Kevin who stood up, and looked out for me and never once put me down. He made sure he let me know how special I was and that the world was lucky to have me in it. I went to church and felt such a separation, I just felt like I never belonged just wasn’t good enough to fit in. Then when I turned 17 I decided that I was going to leave home and begin my own life. However. It did not work out so well. I spent the next six and half years in a very abusive marriage. Physically abuse almost every day. I actually spent more time in the hospital than at home. I was so mentally abused that I would cry out Lord…why…..sadly I would even breath out the words when my husband would go get some more to drink or drugs “please Lord let Him fall in the road, don’t let him come back…. I just can’t take this anymore.” (Bad I know, truly bad) In this state of mind from the abuse I just wanted it to end. Then in 1993 God blessed with the most precious little girl whom I loved so so much. She brought joy to my days, and at that time in that moment that is what I needed.

Then on Father’s day 1994 I came home five minutes late because I stopped to get a card for him and walked in on a truly violent man. I actually don’t remember that day much just waking up in the hospital. Well one thing lead to another and H.O.P.E. stepped in and help me out of this situation. I came back home and began to rebuild my life and my little girl’s. But I ended up covering all my pain with drugs and alcohol. My mind just would not rest it just wouldn’t let me forget all the pain and suffering I had endured for years. Then in February I met an amazing man James. He made me feel like I was a priceless piece to his life. He seen though that I was burying myself in drugs and alcohol and sat me down one night and told me “Darlene, you have to choose…..me or the road you are heading down. I cannot watch you give your life to drugs.” At that moment I realized that he was the one.

We decided to move in together (knowing it was wrong) and lived together for five years. But in August 2000 I was in my bedroom and God spoke to my heart calling me to serve Him. I gave my life to him that hot August night…….And also spoke to my heart about making a decision that would change my life, a truly scaring one after what I endured…… get married or walk away….that’s what I had to do……We have been married now for almost 16 years and together for 22, and I love him more today than I did then. He never once gave up on me He never once judged me. He loved me like I always wanted to be loved. Unconditionally. Then we began to try to have children. We tried for several years to have a child to no success. In 2003 I became pregnant, oh the joy that finally filled our house. In September 2003 I lost the precious little gift God gave me. The pain that it brought me was indescribable. I was put on suicide watch for several months because I just could not function. I was so heartbroken that I just couldn’t carry on. At my follow up appointment the doctors told us maybe we need to be prepared that kids was just not going to be in our future. The pain just kept building. Then on August 17, 2004 (which is also my birthday, God is so good) I found out that God had reach down and created my little miracle child, Tristan. In April 2005 I gave birth to the angel God I prepared for us.

As I look back at my life and my story that God has wrote so far…..I hear hope that wouldn’t let go of me at my worse……..I hear the love of a Heavenly Father that just wouldn’t give up on His precious Daughter. I see grace that was greater than all my sins……I see the blood of Christ that covered them all. I see justice and I see mercy that won every battle that I endured….. I see kindness that just kept drawing me near Hs throne in every situation……I hear and see victory over every sin in my life….through every battle…..I hear and see freedom that Jesus so mercifully gave to me over bondages that was holding me back and down. I see a life that overcame drugs, alcohol, death, and the grave……. Oh in my story you can’t help but to see the merciful, grace filled, loving arms of my Heavenly Father.

So today take a moment…look back at your story and I promise you too will be praising your Savior for his mercy, grace unconditional love, victory, forgiveness, His kindness, His deliverance…….YOU WILL THANK HIM FOR YOUR STORY AND THAT HE WAS THERE EVERY SECOND OF IT!!!!!!!!

His servant forever,

Darlene

We have all had them days where we just wake up feeling like well…..you know…blah blah blah. Them days where nothing is really wrong you just wake up feeling down. Well today  I woke up feeling this way. Nothing really wrong just fighting the blues. However just because I woke up this way it doesn’t mean I have to stay this way.

As I was driving to work this morning feeling like this big dark cloud was hovering over me I notice a car in front of me going 20 miles an hour. In their defense it was snowing roads but feeling the way I did to me that was no excuse. So I started getting irritated and yelled “oh my gosh move it”…..(I am sure you have never done that LOL) Then the moment I said that God brought to memory ….”I have blessed you with a four-wheel drive to go in the snow, please be patient with them they have a two-wheel drive they are driving safe.” Put me in my place He did. Immediately I ask God to forgive me and then began to thank him for all the things he has blessed me with, especially His forgiveness, grace and mercy.

I know there are plenty of days that we could just go on and on complaining but why???? I am learning to see the good in any day. Sometimes not an easy thing to do in this world and day and time. But we have a chance!!!!!! One of my favorite verses in the bible is when David was down…..he said ” Why are you cast down , oh my soul? Hope in the Lord.” Psalm 42:5. Basically what he was saying was David why are you so down…God is with you, put your hope your day in Him……. That’s what I said to myself Darlene why are you so down…God is with you and things are gonna be great today. Stand tall put a smile on your face and let the word know you serve a good God who has been so good to you.”

Heavenly Father, I know sometimes my moods are completely undesirable….and for that I am sorry. You have blessed far beyond what I could ever think or dream. You have kept me safe and healthy. You reached down and loved me even when I did not love myself. You saved me from an eternity of suffering and gave me a future with you. Lord I am so thankful so thankful so help me Lord to see your blessings in everyday, help me choose to Hope in You…..every single day. In Jesus name Amen

I am not one to make New Years resolutions at all. Mainly because I simply just don’t carry them out. No excuses here. However this year I did make a few. Why you may ask. Well I am turning 44 this year and quit frankly I am completely out of shape physically and spiritually. 

The first resolution I made was to begin a exercise program. So I joined Planet Fitness, and trust you me it isn’t easy. I began by going in and walking one mile on the tredmill and then one day I will do upper body and ab exercises and walk another half of mile. Then on the other days I will do lower body and ab exercises and walk another half mile. Four days a week. My arms have be sore, my legs ache, my back throbs, and let’s not get me started on the pain my abs are feeling. However I love it. I have so much more energy and beginning to get mo0re strength. I do not feel as stressed which gives me more patience, I rest better, (LOL) I feel much happier, and not to mentionn I have feeling a peacefulness while I work out.

Then my second which is the most important is to begin a spiritual workout. I read my bible daily, spend time in prayer, worship daily, try very diligently to hold my tongue and train it to only speak words of encouragement and praise. Also to live  a life that people can see Jesus in me. Speaking of Him is great very honorable…..but when you live it……well that is something they will never forget. Forgive unconditionally. Not to pick and choose people or things I will forgive but to do like my Lord does and instantly forgive not because I have to but because I love. Work out my eye muscles….seriously very important. A few bible heroes was ruined because they let their spiritual vision fail. They lost control of their entire lives. One was David which was deceived because he let his eyes dwell to long on a sinful act, which spiraled down to killing an innocent man. And not to mention I can look all around me and see how so many Christians forget to workout their eye muscles and fall into uncontentment which can get and does get you into a word of trouble. 

Acts 24:16 says I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man. So knowing that he alone created me and called me His daughter……I should by all means take this life very seriously that he gifted me with. Whether it be physically or spiritually staying in shape, keeping fit should be a top priority of mine and yours.
Heavenly Father, I am so sorry for allowing my body to become ran down with bad eating and not exercising and allowing the stress of this life to hurt my body that you so wonderfully made. I ask you to forgive me. I also ask you to forgive me because I have aloud my spiritual body to suffer. I have allowed the things of this world to step in front of the creator….You Precious God. I ask that you give me the stength that I need in both areas to excel. Help me eat good physically food and good spiritual food to build muscles that will sustain my life in you. You have been so good to me. I ask that you help me lay aside all the bad habits that may be holding me back in you. Help me Lord prepare for an eternity with you. With all my love your Servant always, Darlene 

I just wanted to share a small prayer this evening……..The last couple of months my faith has been wavering as it sometimes do when tough times hit that brings me to my knees ….which by the way is an awesome place to be. I pray that it helps someone in the mist of a battle that you just simply feel……tired, exhausted, scared, hurt, just completely bewildered about what your are going through.

Heavenly Father,

The last few months have been rough to say the least. You know me and I like to fix things, fix people, but I have learned n0t in me to do. I am not going to lie I want to wipe the fear away from people who fearing about what tomorrow may bring. I want wipe away the tears and make the people who have lost loved ones this holiday away. I want to take the drug problem away that is destroying our youth. BUT I CAN’T…….. 🙁 It seems lately no matter how many prayers I pray, no matter how I much I encourage I encourage the broken heart it keeps getting worse. However Lord you also know that even though my faith wavered it never disappeared, because I have asked your forgiveness and have ask you to make me stronger. You have placed these challenges in our lives to make us stronger, to make us fighters, to make a ROYAL WARRIORS OF CHRIST. I will not stop believing in deliverance, I will not stop hoping for a better tomorrow, I will not stop saying a miracle is right around the corner………because you have given me a heart of compassion, a heart of praise, a heart of hope, a heart of passion for you, a heart of unconditional love. Your a good God, a faithful God, a merciful God, a forgiving God…..and I am truly grateful from the depths of my heart for each and every battle and victory. Most of all Lord thank you for opening my eyes to one special fact today……what you endure what you press through that shows the depth of my desire to be you daughter…..your baby girl!!! I love you Lord. Amen

I was thinking this evening about my children and a couple of my friends and family, and my heart melted because I watch them walk through life unsure. Some are unsure of their relationships or marriages. Some are unsure of their jobs. Some are unsure of their health. Then their are some who are completely unsure about everything. I can remember a time not to long ago that I was unsure if all the pain and trials that our family was going through was worth getting up one more day. My sister  is fighting a cancer battle, my mom’s heart is weaker every day, my children keep making horrible decisions that are putting their health and life in danger. And everyday I would get up, and honestly groan inside, and just be completely unsure of what today may bring. Trust me not a good feeling at all. 

David prayed in Psalm 17:5 “Uphold my steps in Your paths, that my footsteps may not slip” What a small powerful prayer. He was unsure inside of what may happen, but he knew who did though. He knew who could hold him up on this rough road. David knew that with every twist, every turn, every slippery place, every pot hole his life may have in store for him he knew the one and only who could make his steps sure. 

Our lives aren’t going to go by with no tears, no sorrows, no hurt or deceit, no fears, no death, no mountains that in our eyes are unclimbable……..but what God has given us is a way for us to make sure our foot steps are sure…….. AND THAT IS IN HIM!!!!! It is a lesson I am learning daily, and to tell you it isn’t rough sometimes I would be lying. But I have made a decision that although I can not see the outcome, although there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, although the mountain in front of me seems to be unclimbable….. I am going to do likke David did I am going to shout the prayer…..”UPHOLD ME LORD, YOUR LITTLE GIRL, UPHOLD MY STEPS IN YOUR PATHS, DON’T LET ME STRAY ONE STEP…..THAT MY FOOTSTEPS MAY NOT SLIP. BUT THAT I MAY BE SURE… COMPLETELY SURE THAT YOU ARE IN CONTROL AND THE OUTCOME CAN ALL BE GOOD, IT CAN ONLY BE VICTORY. HELP ME TO TRUST, HELP ME TO LISTEN, HELP ME TO LOOK THROUGH MY SPIRITUAL EYES AND WALK A FOR SURE WALK WITH YOU!!!!”

Daughter of The King

Darlene

You know so many times I have heard people say……”listen to what your heart says.” or something like that. Is that good advice or bad advice? A scripture that opened up the truth for me about my heart was Genesis 6:5, “The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” Scary to think that our heart’s thoughts are continually evil. Sadly in this day and time our heart lies to us all the time. Examples: when a marriage is falling apart and all you do is argue sadly the first thought is lets just separate get a divorce no since in us being miserable. (LIE) A wayward child strays into drugs and begins down a long destructive road that simply tears your family apart. The human nature says just walk away and let them come back on their own, nothing I can do. (LIE) A young person struggling with their identity, tell them do what makes them happy. (LIE) And that just a few of the terrible lies. Mark 7:21-22 says “From within, out of the heart of man, comes evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.” We have to realize that we are human and as humans we want comfort, happiness, joy and acceptance. However, following OUR hearts does not do that, but it does lead to sadness, destruction, mistrust, and ultimately death.

Ezekiel 36:25 God says He will give us new heart……why because our sinful heart is bound to lead us astray. But with the new heart God provides comes with the desire to live for him, to follow and obey his words. To stand up for what is right, to help people who are hurting, to put others before us, to never covet or steal from someone, to give Godly advice from his word, to love unconditionally…not to say “follow YOUR heart”. And trust you me sometimes you will be tempted to say that why???? Because although we are children of the Most High God with new hearts our old hearts wars against it. Until the day the good Lord comes back and takes us home that battle will always continue because we will not have our heavenly perfected bodies and hearts until then.

So my prayer today is that you never say follow your heart to anyone facing a mountain or in the mist of a battle….but say God has great things in store for you seek his guidance and follow his ways then and only then will you truly be happy beyond your wildest dreams.

Forever His Servant,

Darlene

Ecclesiastes 3:1. To everything there is season. A time for every purpose under heaven.
As I was driving today I heard a sermon that just stopped me dead in my tracks. The words this pastor spoke was…..” I had a dead tree in my yard so I called a landscaper and shows him the dead tree, but the man told me the tree wasn’t dead it just wasn’t in season to bloom yet.  The pastor told him it has to be dead look at it ……and the man told me that I should give it a few weeks and it will be the most beautiful tree in my yard.” And low and beyond three weeks later that tree bloomed the most beautiful flowers and then it grew the most beautuful and delicious  fruit. 

I began to think about my children, family, and a few friends and yes even myself…….. there’s has been times I began to think they are never going to changed, I am never going to defeat this habit. I have looked at our finances and scream that in debt we will always be. I have seen marriages that was falling part that I silently said they were doomed. How ashamed I feel today. Life should have come out of my mouth. I should not have been looking at the person, or the situation……I should have been looking though the eyes of Christ. 

We as children of the most high God should step back, and pray, and live by his word and realize that there is no person without hope …there is no0 situation that is dead….they are just not quite in their season yet. That strayward child who is addicted to drugs and disrespectful…..stand in your war room and speak life over them …and their season will come…..their latter days will be better than their former. That marriage where it seems like all hope is gone and forgiveness is just to hard…….lay it at the feet of Jesus and He will change a mess into a message for other couples going through the same thing. When you feel like your finances will never be stable you have just dug yourself in to deep…..proclaim to your provider that you will listen to his lead and manage every single blessing he gives you and he will bring you out not wanting for anything. 

So my prayer today is that we all stop looking through our worldly eyes …because through them eyes the enemy wants us to see death and destruction. No starts looking through your spiritual eyes and I promise you will begin to see beauty in all diifernt stages ……. Yes even when a situations seems hopeless it isn’t………it is just that the season for that situation has not fully come yet.
God bless!!!!!

As I was reading this evening God’s word I read 1 Peter 1:6-7 “In this you greatly rejoice though now for a little while if need be, you have been grieved with various trials, that genuiness of your faith being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory in the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

We need to grow up…….myself included. I will be the first to admit that when a trial comes my way or when I face a mountain that seems unclimbable I crumble, I fall apart. As a mother when I see my kids making bad choices that could damage their future or cut it short my heart breaks into a million pieces. When I see someone hurting because they have lost a loved one or got horrible news from a doctor I am beside myself…..I hurt with the them. Not a bad thing I know, I finally realize that suffering is a way of life. Battles are an everyday thing…..why because we have an enemy out there who wants to kill steal and destroy the elect of God. However, God is refining us. He is preparing us for a life that is beyond our wildest dreams. Suffering, trials, hurt they actually help us grow up and help others when they are down when they are broken. He is molding us into His image one step at a time. What freedom to finally realize that.

So first we need to realize and accept…..LIFE IS NOT EASY….WASN’T MEANT TO BE!!!!!! Secondly realize that it is for our own good to make us stronger to help us become the hands and feet and ears of Christ. So like me……we need to stop wining and grow up. Quit crying about the battles we are going though because if we don’t we will miss out on what is to come. And trust you me I do not want to do that.

Lord as we lay down tonight give us strength to learn to stop wining and stop asking you to take away all our problems and help us start asking what miracle can come out of this. Your a gracious God who loves us so much you don’t want us to stay where we are, you are such a lovable God that you want us to learn to spread you love in our everyday lives. Touch our hearts to listen to you and take one step at a time……and become the Ambassadors you want us to be for you. In Jesus name Amen.