HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Today I woke up and thought…..” I supposedly have so many friends God why is it that I read about all their New Years Party’s on-line instead of being invited??? I know it seems small to think about these things Lord but you know how I love ….. How much friendship and family mean to me….Lord do I truly belong in this circle of people, or do I just think I belong? Will I ever find true friends ???? Do the people in my life see me as an important contribution to their lives and the lives of other ??? Lord do I really I mean really matter??? “

Have you ever thought this way? Did you think this way today???

Sadly so many people have grown up in this world feeling like they are of no importance to anyone, like they have no place or no purpose in this life.They feel like friendship and love is just a dream that they will never meet. That upon waking up in the morning getting up out of bed didn’t really matter because you had nothing to offer anyways.I actually spent a good bit of my life feeling exactly like this.

As a child my spirit was murdered. The feeling of never belonging or the feeling of unimportance, of no value ran my life and thoughts. Even though I was raised in church, and I heard of God’s love, and that He had a purpose for everyone……I never ever seen that purpose. As I grew the pain and the hurt of never knowing if I truly had a place, or never really felt like I was being loved by anyone. I truly felt as if I had no self worth or actually any worth at all.

As I continued to grow and become an adult a mother and a wife the struggle of letting go of the scars and the feelings of my past was of no success. I began to wonder will I ever find my place, will I ever have real value or something to offer anyone?

Then in August of 2000 something happened……a miracle ……… I was in my bedroom telling the Lord I can not do this anymore. I can not take the pain, the rejection anymore. I have to know that I matter…..that I truly matter to someone somewhere……I need help……I need Him, I need His forgiveness……..and He so graciously said ” You matter,, your are the apple of my eye….”

That day I knew that I knew God had began a good work in me…..Php 1:6    being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. And I made God a promise that day….That I would forever be faithful to Him…..

Now I would like to say that it has been all so easy since then….that I never feel this way anymore, but that would be so far from the truth. However I can say though that from that day on I have grown ever single day in someway. Although I know I have more healing, more growing in Christ to do, the void has finally been filled. When those thoughts arise like this morning I filter them through prayer, through God’s word, through His promises. And I remember….and I speak it………That I am worth something to someone, I am valuable, I am irreplaceable, I have place, I have purpose……I am love!!!!!!!!! The fact that I was born on August 17, 1972 I matter…..I have a purpose, that I am loved, that I am absolutely irreplaceable to the one and only KING OF KINGS!!!!!!! regardless of the mistakes that I may make, or how I look, or what job I may have, or what status I may have in society I am loved by JESUS!!!!!!!!

So this year I would like to reach out to this lost and dying, hate filled, sin sick world where so many men and women, children, mothers and fathers, grandparents, soldier, teacher, pastor, singer, etc……..That they are a gift, that they truly matter, that they are loved. To reach out to those who have felt this way, to those who are still struggling with finding their place, or realizing their worth, and feeling that they are not loved and shouting the good news that “YOU DO!!!!!”

Jer. 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Rom. 8:17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

Joh 15:9    “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.Joh 15:10    If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.Joh 15:11    I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.Joh 15:12    My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.Joh 15:13    Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.Joh 15:14    You are my friends if you do what I command.Joh 15:15    I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.Joh 15:16    You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.Joh 15:17    This is my command: Love each other.Joh 15:18    “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.

Heavenly Father, You have been so good to me. I thank you that you opened my eyes, that your mended my heart, that you filled the void that nothing or no one else could fill. Thank you so much for opening my eyes up that I am of worth, I am valued, and I am loved by the King of Kings, by the one and only God. Lord I ask today to please calm the hearts of the people who like I once was….. feeling unloved, rejected, despised, of no value…. Please Lord fill the spaces, the empty corners of their hearts with the tugging of your Holy Spirit and let truly feel love that is completely unconditonal….your love!!! Place your hands upon their eyes and allow them to see that even though now their sight may be deemed by the crudeness of this world, the heartbreak and hurt of a sin stricken world, the betrayal of friends or family, and allow them to see that they have a purpose, a place a job that they can only fill. Let them see that in your Heavenly choir, in your heavenly band or orchestra that their talents that their instrument (their body and service) is needed to create the masterpiece the symphony that you have visioned before time began. I also pray that you place people, Godly, sanctified, Holy Ghost filled people in their lives to speak your promises over them, and to give them help when they get weak, to encourage them and to give them comfort. I love you you Lord……..

I ask all this in the mighty Holy name, Jesus

Amen.